I have always been amazed at the way some people act. My life has been lived largely reserved, shy, and aloof. Call it what you will, the majority of the time, I manage not to make an ass out of myself. Mostly because, above all else, I strive to not look like an idiot. Maybe not the most noble of goals, but one that has generally served me well. And yet, throughout my adult life, I have been constantly surprised by the fact that not only do other people not mind acting like retarded monkeys, they seem to enjoy it. WTF?!?
Take my experience this weekend for instance. I had the pleasure of meeting one of my favorite Food Network chefs, Guy Fieri, at a cookbook signing at his new restaurant in town, Johnny Garlic’s. The pleasurable part being the 30 seconds that I spent with Diesel and Guy (who is just as laid back and outgoing as he seems on TV). The other hour and a half that I spent standing in line was an awkward mixture of being fascinated/horrified by the three women in line in front of me.
If I could sum up the morning in one sentence it would be, “Smell my book.” That’s right. One of the ladies spent a good 10 minutes trying to convince her companions to smell the book she had brought to be autographed. But, on second thought, maybe that’s not the strangest thing. After all, who hasn’t begun smelling inanimate objects as a result of boredom?
But the truly shocking part was not the lady with, according to Diesel, some'er teeth (some are there and some are not). It wasn't the instant that the three reached the door of the restaurant, could see Guy less than 15 feet away and began screaming and waving (keep in mind that this was in the middle of a crowded restaurant at the height of Saturday lunch hour). No, it was when the three of them went to take their picture with Guy, and the lady with the some'er teeth began making kissing noises an inch from Guy's ear.
Yea, that was weird. I have no idea why people do the things that they do.